foodnoise

Okay! SO in response to some comments from my last post—PEOPLE! I eat cheese… haha trust me, but I was just trying to make the point that it is ridiculous that I won’t put cheese on my Subway sandwhich but somehow I can tell myself a second serving of this, or an extra large portion of that will be fine! I really need to focus on moderation– it’s key. Once we think about it- NO food should be labled “bad” it’s just that you can’t eat tons of it… Sometimes I find myself eating too much of a good thing…

 ANYWAY!!! Good news: Yesterday I did GREAT! I really focused on listening to my body and realizing when I was hungry and when I was full. For dinner we went to a mexican restaurant which usually results in Lexi feeling like she wants to explode from eating her weight in chips and salsa! (Damn chips and salsa, deadly.) So… i allowed myself a few chips but i ate one at a time… usually dipping each chip twice in the salsa to last longer (sad, i know). Instead of inhaling calories of chips and salsa before our food came out, i focused on the conversation at the dinner table. I talked instead of ate, WHEW! Andddd instead of ordering a brothed based chicken soup like i usually do… I split something with a friend… not necessarily as figure friendly as the soup would’ve been… but it made me really focus on the portion size and i didn’t even eat my whole half. I felt so accomplished and satisfied, it was great.

We have a couple of days off from practicing and so I want to spend my team focused on getting ready for classes to start instead of my diet. However, tomorrow we are going to the lake as a team which means, dun dun dunnnnn SWIMSUIT! Ugh, i mean it won’t be that bad… but there are some skinny bitches on my team who have bodies i would give my left index finger for so hopefully that will keep my in line today and tomorrow. Should be a great way to end the summer and begin the fall! Hope all is well everyone, keep up the good work! -lex

Okay, hear me out…

 At a dinner table with friends… trying not to INHALE my grilled chicken salad, with dressing on the side (duh), while trying to make it look like I’m eating a salad just because it sounded good… or b/c ya know… the pizza and pasta really just didn’t sound good to me… ha! I wonder… what would it be like to say SCREW it and order the damn pasta… taking it a step further, and wondering what it would be like to EAT the friggin’ pasta without remorse… and finally leaving the restaurant not stuffed and on the verge of a food coma, but comfortable, calm, and satisfied. Saying to a friend ”Wow, that pasta was delicious… but there is NO way I was going to finish all of it!”  Getting up… walking away from the pasta when I have had enough…  I was satisfied, I was full, it was time to move on with my life.

I think I have come to the realization that I will never be that. I don’t think i can ever be the girl who orders the french fries instead of the steamed veggies at dinner… Having some fries isn’t going to kill me. It makes no sense, I eat fat free yogurt only, drink diet coke instead of regular, always get my dressings on the side, and get this… i don’t even put CHEESE on my freaking Subway sandwhich! So why is it so difficult for me to reach my goal? I need to figure my shit out… i need to grab the binges by the horn and get rid of them. FOR. GOOD.

Sorry if that was kinda random and choppy… a lot of thoughts in my head tonight. -Lex

So first off i was so excited to see i had recieved a comment as a first time blogger!! Thanks!

Today was okay… we had another 2-a-day practice, so I got PLENTY of exercise… and after last nights post i was really motivated and determined to do well eating wise today… and well, for the rest of my life, haha…. so i had a great breakfast… did good at lunch and after the afternoon practice i was ready for dinner… i chose my food wisely, filled up with mainly steamed brocolli and salad… but the bread, OHHHH the bread. so delicious i had to have 2 pieces… and afterwards when my roommate and i went to buy groceries… ofcourse we had to buy cookies. DUH, and i had 2. i MUST say that i am extremely proud of myself that i didn’t partake in the usual nightly bowl of cereal… (which can sometimes turn in to 2 or 3)  I realized i wasn’t HUNGRY for the cereal… it was too late, and the cereal would be there tomorrow if I REALLY wanted it. UGH! good job lex! so now i’m in bed.. and not gonna lie… my stomach feels a little hungry but breakfast will come soon, right? I really want tomorrow to be an even better day and i don’t wanna feel “guilty” or too full after dinner. I HATE GOING TO BED FEELING GUILTY!

On a lighter note… i bought some lean cousine today… i know, i know… but i’m a busy college student and they’re so easy! I got the butternut squash ravioli and a few others i haven’t tried. the ravioli though is AWESOME! So delicious, really!

 Well, thats enough for tonight… leave some comments so I know someone is interested! -Lex

Well hey,

I’m gonna start off by saying I’m probably not your typical weight loss blogger… I am a 20 year old, college athlete who has everything in the world going for her. However, I am not, and have never been, 100% happy with my body. Currently in my jr. year of college studying exercise science and nutrition (ha!)

I am starting this blog because I need to get my inner thoughts out- and I’m afraid if I confide in someone they will think i am either a calorie counting crazy nut, or a poor college girl pressured by society and on the brink of an eating disorder. Now, i will say that I am pressured by society and hollywood…I mean, who WOULDN’T want to look like supermodels and actresses…. they are thin, beautiful and probably extremely happy, right? UGH. This is another reason I must have this blog… I need to get rid of the constant, and believe me when i say CONSTANT, food/exercise noise in my head. Food and exercise noise is the voice in my head saying “don’t eat that, lex… don’t do it,” or “okay.. well now i gotta head to the gym and burn at least 300 calories for that…” I mean, seriously??? Why does this consume me? Am i the only person who constantly is consumed by the thoughts of calories, dieting, and eating? Yes… talking to my friends, everyone wants to be skinny, everyone wants to look good in  bikini.. .but I know that NO ONE struggles like i do with the thought of dieting and weight loss. Here I am at 11:15, awake with an 8 am practice in the morning with a bright idea of starting  weight loss blog.

So, here i go… for all the times I would binge on multiple bowls of cereal….and regret it immediately after. For all the times I wouldn’t go out at night with friends in fear of the opportunity to partake in drinking (calories) and/or late night munching caused by drinking (even more calories)  For the fact that i haven’t had a boyfriend in 3+ years b/c i can’t even love myself enough to let someone else love me. I’m so sick of this…. and I’m ready and willing to change my habits and most importantly my relationship with food. I am ready to love myself, damn’t. ….. 10 lbs lighter, ofcourse.

Is this weight loss blog for me? i don’t have a problem with dragging myself to the gym– hell it’s my JOB to be in shape as a college athlete… and as a nutrition major… i KNOW what i should and shouldn’t eat… So what’s my problem? What is holding me back from being the girl i want to be, and who i know i can be… but I am the only one not allowing myself to achieve that.

Thoughts… anyone…. please. I’m desperate.